suckmyvertical:

fucking cuddle with me you bitch

awkward-aris:

peachymints:

I play a very dangerous game

it’s not my fault people have the gall to make attractive OCs

"Shh I’m gonna try and get that for you"is the single best description for my relationship with my OC ever

Once you get this, you have to share five random facts about yourself. Then share this with 10 of your favorite followers!!

Lmao I won’t share the followers thing because I’m lazy

but uhhh facts about myself

1; im not actually an axew irl

2; im actually a toilet irl

3; i like da booty

4; dinosaurs are cool

5; im currently typing out fact #5 about myself

B)

*instantly stops reblogging* I'M SORRY SASS I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAYYYY

IDK HOW LONG AGO THIS WAS BUT FOR SOME REASON THIS DIDNT SHOW UP IN MY ASK BOX UNTIL NOW?

Yo Sass, just wanted to remind you you're on a huge fuckin' reblog spree. In case you were somehow unaware.

I’m always aware lmao

astoran-magician:

Where the OTPs live

astoran-magician:

Where the OTPs live

facts-i-just-made-up:

Master Post of the best of the great “Show us your dick”-a-thon of 2014.

Here’s the previous one.

Hank Hill - Turn Down For Hwat
436,438 plays
198,255 plays

raithehaiku:

NICE LEGS DAISY DUKES MAKES A MAN GO

Friend: what are you reading on your phone?
Me: ...
Friend: ...
Me: ...
Friend: ...
Me: ...
Friend: ...
Me: .....
Friend: if it's gay p-
Me: it's gay porn.

aalleexxwhat:

samvy:

tinker-net:

…witchcraft!

This.

this is like circular pole dancing omg

I like talking to you.

donaldkaneda:

jphani:

I like when we talk. Sometimes we run out of things to say, or things to talk about but we still manage to keep the conversation going. Sometimes though, I must admit, that I feel like I’m so clingy. But that’s only because I really really like talking to you. A message from you makes me smile in an instant. 

Relevant

pivotalwolf:

anorie:

lotrlockedwhovian:

baara:

the lady behind the counter asked how much whipped cream I wanted and I asked for a shit ton and then she came back with this

We now know the exact amount of shit ton, thank you for your contribution

#Excellent customer service

I used to work at Dunkin and I swear you would do things like this on peoples ridiculous requests and it either got a chuckle and a thank you… Or they bitched you out for being a smart ass.
Example: one time a dude asked for heavy cream so my cashier asked how white they wanted the coffee and they said make it purple. So I went to the decoration area and got flavorless food dye and made it purple. Never had a dude laugh harder in my life

pivotalwolf:

anorie:

lotrlockedwhovian:

baara:

the lady behind the counter asked how much whipped cream I wanted and I asked for a shit ton and then she came back with this

We now know the exact amount of shit ton, thank you for your contribution

I used to work at Dunkin and I swear you would do things like this on peoples ridiculous requests and it either got a chuckle and a thank you… Or they bitched you out for being a smart ass.

Example: one time a dude asked for heavy cream so my cashier asked how white they wanted the coffee and they said make it purple. So I went to the decoration area and got flavorless food dye and made it purple. Never had a dude laugh harder in my life

Game Grumps - I put my lips on your lips...
14,730 plays

princess-peachie:

"Um… I was talking about the Crystal Pepsi part."